“She’s so pretty, I hate her”

Recently, a girlfriend of mine, let’s refer to her as “Rebecca,” starting dating someone. They had been on a few very lame, and very “LA” dates, meaning there was little to no effort involved. A last minute text with “wanna come over an watch a movie?” has been the extent of his chivalry. I realize that my friends in other cities wouldn’t stand for this sort of behavior, but it’s all we have to work with here LaLa Land. I can painfully say, that after seven years of living in Los Angeles, my standards have been drastically lowered. This does not mean I have forfeited my right to complain about it though.

Rebecca, having had her standards lowered as well, has gone along with several ill thought out dates with, er… Steve. He’s not as successful as she is, he doesn’t drive a nice car, he doesn’t consistently work or attempt to, but he’s met Rebecca’s bare minimum requirements by the skin of his teeth. Let me also describe Rebecca to you. She’s a stunning and thin blonde with a sharp sense of humor, she produces one of the top reality shows, she supports herself, and did I mention she’s drop dead gorgeous? Well, before long, the insecurity that runs rampart through this sunny town arrived at her door, and she began to obsess over Steve’s ex-girlfriend. She googled her, looks through her Twitter account (particularly during the period she and Steve were dating), analyzed what she could of her facebook and any public correspondence between the ex and Steve.  Rebecca, like many of us was insecure. Totally unaware of what she is offering, she thought his ex was prettier, funnier and more interesting than she was.

It was strange to hear her talk about the ex with such insecurity. I’ve always thought, well, they’re an ex for a reason. If I’m different from them, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I tried to impart my perspective on this, and you could see she mentally understood, and praised me for my attitude, but couldn’t shake those persistent doubts.

We girls have to stop comparing ourselves to other girls and supporting each other instead. It’s not you against other girls, you have no one to live up to or be better than. You only have to be the best version of yourself.

Once you’ve become, as I like to say, “(Insert Name Here) 2.0.” there is nothing to feel insecure about because you have become the best version of yourself. You can’t compare yourself to someone else, and why would you want to? I wouldn’t want to live in someone else’s skin, so why should I try to fit in their shoes either?